I need salvation.

Napadaan ako sa blog ni Yana. Napaisip akong pwede na man akong mag-tagalog sa posts ko. Haha. Masyado lang talaga siguro akong proud sa aking pag-iingles kaya lahat ng posts ko ay Ingles. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko!

I need salvation. Ika nga ni Felip. Naisip ko, ako rin, kelangan ko yun. Dahil? Dahil naaawa na ako sa sarili ko. Mukha na akong baliw. Kahit ano na lang ang naiisip ko at bigla ko itong gagawin o sasabihin. Ano na nga ba ang nangyayari sakin? Psychologically Sick?! Haha. Pwede! Sabi ng isang staff sa school (nakalimutan ko ang pangalan, pasensya na), magiging Psychologically Sick ka raw kapag di ka kakain ng maayos. Aah! Kaya naman pala mukha na akong baliw eh. Haha. I skip meals. Hindi tama yun pero naiinsecure ako sa sarili ko dahil lumalaki na ako. Kinakanchaw na ako ng mga kaibigan ko.

Getting of report cards nga pala nung nakaraang Biyernes. Ayun, 3 na ang pula ko. Ewan ko ba ano nang nangyayari sa akin. Tinatamad na akong mag-aral pero pagsisikapan ko na ngayong susunod na markahan. Gusto kong grumaduate pero ayoko'ng mag college. Ang gulo ko noh? Kelangan ko ng inspiration para makapasa ngayon. Sabi nga nila, crucial stage na raw to para sa aming mga graduating students. Eh, sana naman makakayanan ko to. Mag-aaral na ako ng maayos. I promise to myself!

Malapit na ang pasko, sana naman makuha ko na ang inaasam-asam kong salvation.

FOREVER I'LL MISS

I'm graduating soon. 4 months -- that is what's left for me to enjoy my senior year in high school. I really don't want to be in college yet. I'm really not ready to face a new world.

I just got home from the Studio. I felt like I don't want to leave high school when I wore the toga. There were a couple of my schoolmates who were there for the picture taking, they seem excited to be in college. I really don't know what would I be when I get to college.

And oh, he was so cold on me today. Maybe he was just so down because of his grades. The report cards are out today. I failed 3 subjects. I want to graduate (but I don't want to be in college). I'm making up my grades. I feel that I'm the most brainless person in this planet. I need to cope up and I need help!

As days turn into weeks and months, I can't stop thinking of Graduation Day. I know it would be a memorable one but I know it would also be one of my most woeful days. I can imagine my friends, my classmates, my teachers and schoolmates all happy. But for me? Well, I'm out of place. I'm surely going to miss all the troubles I made in high school. Haha! High school. This is the time when I can do whatever I want to do. College? Well, I got to be serious!

Soundtrack of My Life.

I love you more than you'll ever know
I love you more than you'll ever see
More than my heart could ever show
I love you more than you'll ever know

Take my hand, we'll walk a while, we'll talk a while. The first track of my life. I wonder why I feel uneasy listening to this song? Uneasy in a nice way. Is it just kilig or I want to cry because I'm super happy? I still don't know how much but I know he loves me a lot. Ha! I feel his love always here beside me.

You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You're all I need to be with forevermore

I just can't believe you are mine now. He was really just a dream. I never thought he would love me too. We have been friends then but I didn't know that we'll be together in the end. I never thought that he had this feeling for me too! He's really a surprise.

Baby, you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I'd give my love to have it hold
and as far as I can see
You were always meant to be
my destiny

But forever is just a word. He never tells me that he will love me forever. He said, forever is a lie. He's my destiny! From the moment i knew everything about what he thinks of me, deep inside my heart I knew he really was my destiny.

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need
My love, my valentine

Coz all I need is YOU, my valentine. My all-time favorite song. I really need him. Really really. I can't imagine life without him anymore. I really got used to him easily. He's the one I need to complete me, to complete my life and I thank him for stepping in and showing me what really love is.

Even if the sun refused to shine
Even if we lived in different times
Even if the ocean left the sea
There would still be you and me

Even if the world would disappear
Even if the cloud would shed no tears
Even if tonight was just a dream
There would still be you and me

Oh boy, and here you are with me for all of time. Two hearts that belong together from the very start. One love, now and forever. Nothing can tear us apart. Nothing's gonna stop us.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Whenever I hear this song, I remember a family friend that they have been together for almost 10 years before they decided to get married. I want us to last that long too. I know nothing else matters except love and trust; and we have it.

You got to believe in magic
Tell me how two people find each other
In a world that's full of strangers
You got to believe in magic
Something stronger than the moon above
Cos it's magic when two people fall in love

We were born to share this dream. For me, this isn't a dream. I don't want it to be a dream, cos in a dream, there'll be a time that you have to wake up and everything would be gone. I love it this way and it will always remain as what it is. Cos it's magic when I fell in love with him.

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

I can't remember of a time that I haven't thought of him. Every hour, every minute, every second -- he's always in my mind. Some say it's too much but they don't know the feeling of falling for someone who you thought was just a dream, something you can't reach. I'll never leave him. Ever!

And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now

Nothing could really break us apart. Let them say we're crazy, what do they know? Let them say we're crazy, don't care about that. He always tell me that nothing could ever let him fall out of love and I wish that nothing would really make him fall out of love.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

This is his favorite song. He let me listen to this and he sang with it! It's so sweet. He really is the sweetest person I have met and I'm lucky he's mine! He's always there for me. He never left me, maybe at times when he gets mad. Ha!

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time ago
And I never though I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

He said he was having second thoughts on putting this on his monthsary gift ( i'll tell you later ). Cos he doesn't like this much but this is my favorite song. He really loves me so much. I love the song because I just love it. It means nothing to us really.

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

We watch Music and Lyrics together! That day was really a nice one. I salute. Ha! I miss watching movies with him. The cuddles when the sweetest scenes are shown. Aah! I can't wait anymore for another movie marathon with him!

Since I found you my world seems so brand new
You've showed me the love I never knew
Your presence is what my whole life through
Since I found you my life begin so new
Now who needs a dream when there is you
For all my dreams come true
Since I found you

He had sent me a message with these words. I didn't know it was a song. Ha! I just found out now. I thought he really made those words for me. Ha! But still, I appreciate it much. I like the song. Shows how much he really loves me.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

Ohmy. I don't like the message of the song. What's he telling me? I feel guilty everytime we fight but I say sorry always. I never forget that. I don't know what he really wants; being showy of what I feel for him or just through words? Action speaks louder than words -- more than words.

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It's been a year and 9 months. This was the happiest yet. He's the sweetest! He compiled a CD for me but admitted he had forgotten that it's our monthsary. I so love him much much. I'm so thankful that he came to my life -- he's a special surprise. I'm getting too senti now but I really appreciate everything he has done for me, good or bad, everything! I couldn't ask for more. As we last each day, there's one thing that changes with him. He's sweeter. I don't know what's up but I just didn't get used to his being super sweet attitude. I love him and nothing can change that.

BEACH = i missed.

I surfed the net and found these stock photos from Createblog. I want to travel around the most popular beaches in the world. First, Boracay. Honestly, I haven't been there. Wishing of a chance to go but namamalimos na lang kami. Haha. Kidding! My second stop would be the most romantic beach in the world -- St. Thomas in the Caribbean. I'd love to spend time there with someone whom I love the most. ( Waa. Drama ba? Haha. ) My next favorite is the South Beach in Miami, Florida. South Beach is one of the most luxurious beaches in the world, well too bad I can't afford such resort. Haha. But Kjj said he's gonna buy me a beach some day! Haha. Thanks. Ilysm. :)

The Simpsons.

Lisa Simpson to Bart Simpson:


" .. it's human nature, you only like her now because someone already has her. "


=> in other words, APPRECIATE the person close to you while s/he's still yours..

cause you'll never know how much s/he's worth until s/he's out of your life. :)