i wish.

i wish i could tell him what i feel. i wish i could tell him that im getting hurt more and more everyday. those words that came out from his mouth had never been out of my head. even if i try to forget it, it would still come back. i dont wanna cry for the rest of my life. i dont wanna suffer for more pain. but i guess, i might get hurt more if i leave him. i dont know what's he really up to. im scared to ask. im scared to know his answer. im scared. i thought i would be happy with him -- i was wrong. so wrong. i dont wanna expect anything more. i might just get hurt even more. i want to follow my friends -- their advices. but im afraid he'd still insult me -- like what he's been doing. i dont know what to do. i tired. i wanna get wasted. i wanna die. oh god!