VOODOO DOLL.

why do some people think only about themselves? is that considered as selfishness? why don`t they think of other people`s shame? questions keep running inside my head everytime i get scolded. am i being punished because of my parents` mistakes? why me? why not them? tears flood my eyes as i get my rest at night. i don`t understand why these things are thrown up to me. just a while ago, i have been asked to get something with no clear instructions then i was still the one who`s wrong. it`s totally unfair! life really has surprises. surprises -- that hurt me most. i still keep these questions on my head. i can`t find the answers to these questions. i haven`t found those answers -- and i might not find them. i can`t open up to anybody, that`s why i`m telling everything. i`m blurting out all the pain inside me. there are times i think of getting violent. i wanna hurt myself. there was a time that i told myself "maybe if i wasn`t here, they might be happy." but someone tells me to fight and forget all those times i have been hurt -- but i can`t! i just can`t -- and i don`t know why. he keeps on telling me to think positive and be confident & thankful that i had a chance to live. i`ve reflected on those words. maybe, he just loves me that much that he doesn`t want me to go. i do love him too sooo much! i wish he knew how much. i`ve been problematic since i got a little matured. i think a lot of things that might hurt me, physically. but he was the reason why i can`t do those things. he stops me from doing those and convinces me that i have a purpose here on earth, that`s why i`m here. i wish and i pray that someday, i may feel complete. i may feel loved and i may feel that i`m important.