it's over

summer's coming to an end. school's back again. i still dont wanna go to school. i still wanna stay at home -- like what everyone wants! school sucks! whoops! haha. basta, ayoko pa mag school. hindi ko nasulit ang summer vacation. grr. haay. i wish, i could turn back time.

i hate being away

worst. i hate being away from davao but i dont wanna go back either. someone hurt me again. i cant tell who -- go figure it out. GRR!!

ill be missing you

im so gonna be missing my baby. ill be leaving for manila tomorrow night. :( its still gonna be two weeks until we're gonna see each other again. gawd! im half excited & half sad. know why? because i was expecting him to come with me to bangkok. grr! i even thought of backing out. i dont wanna go without him. why am i so crazy about him?! well, i dont know! it is just what i feel. its not my fault, right? i dont know! im so sorry for being such a baby. i just act like this when im missing someone. :( have to go. still gonna finish packing up my stuff. i just had a break to let my feelings go. mwah! wish me a happy trip and you'll get pasalubong. haha. give some love, leave me comments if you want pasalubong -- go on, wish me a happy trip!

first time "koreana"

waking up so early with no messages from someone i was expecting to make me go crazy. seriously, i got pissed. i sat on my bed and saw a 12-in-1 dvd. windstruck. windstruck? it wasn`t the only movie that was there. 12 movies. i haven`t watched any korean movies ever. switched on the dvd player and watched.

first movie: 100 days with mr. arrogant
i love the movie. sweet! the film was about a high school senior who accidentally dents a young man`s car. thought the damage was minor, he tricks her into believing that it will be expensive to fix and has her sign a contract making her his slave for 100 days.

kim jae won - played lee hyeong-jun, born on June 18, 1981. kim made his debut in an MBC drama, and his friendly-child good looks made him popular. he is nicknamed killer smile or angel smile for his famous smile.

ha ji won - played kang ha-yeong, first came to theater in 2000 and won an award for best new actress. her big break was sex is zero and true or dare. in 2003, she was cast as chae-oak in the famous korean tv drama damo and was stated as south korean`s most promising actress.

second movie: a millionaire's first love

jae-kyung had turned 18 and he is eligible to inherit his late grandfather`s vast amount of fortunes. he went out with his friends and became arrogant in his ways. but, there was a catch in the will his grandfather has left behind. he has to graduate from a small high school in the countryside because if that did not happened, he cannot totally inherit the entire fortune. naturally, it drove jae-kyung mad.

when he arrived at the place, he then realised how rural it was. there, he met the girl whom he actually once met many years ago when they were younger. she`s hi fellow classmate at his new school -- eun-hwan. he soon found out she has an illness which could not be cured. it was during those times jae-kyung realizes how much he likes her.

bin hyeon - played kang jae-kyung. born as tae pyung kim. his name literally means bright light. went to joong ang university. loves swimming, basketball and watching plays.

lee yeon-hee - played choi eun-hwan. the girl with a uncurable heart disease. born in january 9, 1988.

i totally had fun watching those i-thought-they-were-corny korean movies. haha. :)) but now, i love `em!

why do some people think only about themselves? is that considered as selfishness? why don`t they think of other people`s shame? questions keep running inside my head everytime i get scolded. am i being punished because of my parents` mistakes? why me? why not them? tears flood my eyes as i get my rest at night. i don`t understand why these things are thrown up to me. just a while ago, i have been asked to get something with no clear instructions then i was still the one who`s wrong. it`s totally unfair! life really has surprises. surprises -- that hurt me most. i still keep these questions on my head. i can`t find the answers to these questions. i haven`t found those answers -- and i might not find them. i can`t open up to anybody, that`s why i`m telling everything. i`m blurting out all the pain inside me. there are times i think of getting violent. i wanna hurt myself. there was a time that i told myself "maybe if i wasn`t here, they might be happy." but someone tells me to fight and forget all those times i have been hurt -- but i can`t! i just can`t -- and i don`t know why. he keeps on telling me to think positive and be confident & thankful that i had a chance to live. i`ve reflected on those words. maybe, he just loves me that much that he doesn`t want me to go. i do love him too sooo much! i wish he knew how much. i`ve been problematic since i got a little matured. i think a lot of things that might hurt me, physically. but he was the reason why i can`t do those things. he stops me from doing those and convinces me that i have a purpose here on earth, that`s why i`m here. i wish and i pray that someday, i may feel complete. i may feel loved and i may feel that i`m important.