VOODOO DOLL.

This Is Me.

2008-01-19T15:48:00.000+08:00

What Francinee Joice Belen Means

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.

You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.

Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.

You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.

You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.

You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.

Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Happy New Year

2008-01-02T17:42:00.000+08:00

Indeed, I was happy when the year said Hello to me. I was having a Movie Marathon by the time it came. I was bored. No firecrackers, no fireworks. It was boring. Yes, it really really was. I only had cake that night, no other. The night was so quiet. Still, I was happy even though something's missing. My Mom didn't come home to celebrate Christmas and New Year with us. Something that was so unusual. Well, I'm still empty minded until now. I don't know what to say. I'll be back soon. I promise. I'll just make myself better. Got NO New Year's Resolution. I'm afraid I might not do it again. Ha! Happy New Year Everyone! :)

Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant!

2007-12-23T09:46:00.000+08:00

Jamie Lynn, sister of Pop Star, Britney Spears is pregnant @ 16.

Link for the full story:
OMG! Yahoo! News

She's so sayang!

The Best Party Ever!

2007-12-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

This was the best Christmas Party ever! I had fun during the Kris Kringle. Pero hindi na-kumpleto ang araw ko. Akin na lang yun! Haha. Everything were superb! Sadly, this would be my last high school Christmas Party. Is there a Christmas Party in college? Haha. I still want to have lots of gifts! Haha. Food and stuff!

By the way, I might be very busy this Christmas Break that I may not update much. Pasensya na po. But I promise to be back before New Year starts! :) Have a Merry Christmas to all!

Constantly Busy and Hurried

2007-12-19T20:34:00.000+08:00

It's our exams week, the reason why I haven't been updating much in here. Tomorrow's our last exam - English - sentences, phrases, stories, Greek Mythology (OMG!). I am currently taking quizzes about Grammar on the internet to test my skills. I'm still not good enough.

Friday's our Christmas Party. I'm wearing a spaghetti-strap black silk dress and a black wedge. I'm excited of my outfit! Haha. It's my first time to wear a dress on a Christmas Party in school. I can't wait for Christmas but I'll surely miss my baby boo. :( we won't be seeing each other for about 2 weeks. Ok. Not important! Haha.

I'll update soon about our party. Wish me luck! Toodles. :)

We're standing still, Jenny.

2007-12-16T10:10:00.000+08:00

a continuation of my previous post.

I have been over reactive about the EW issue. Now, I know the truth, I'm on the positive side. I won't just believe on anyone anymore, I guess. May kutob na kasi talaga ako na hindi totoo ang pinag-sasabi ng other side. I won't name names. What's important is we're still friends and I guess, the Christmas Party that they were saying would still be a stepping stone on bringing back the friendship that was meant to last forever.

I just wish that my wish for Christmas would really come true. It's my first time to wish that was not for myself. I learned to love my friends more and I want peace on Christmas.

Jenny, what's the problem?

2007-12-15T07:59:00.000+08:00

Jenny was played on the radio and I remembered something:

I can still remember it was the 7th of December 2007. Kelvin was singing Jenny during our school's Skill-O-Rama. Ebakwait was there, of course. We had fun! Talk about the memories. I wish, I could bring back the old times. c:

First you say you won't, then you say you will. You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on. I'm standing still Jenny. You got me on my knees. Jenny it's killing me.

When It's Over.

2007-12-14T21:07:00.000+08:00

It bothers me a lot that my advices and effort did not work on saving a friendship that was meant to last forever. Now, I realized that not all things are really going to last. If there is love, I bet nothing would ever break something apart but what happened to my most favorite barkada?

A lot of things were wasted. Everything gone to worse from bad. There was no one who expected that almost 8 months of friendship would just end up like a bubble that just burst. I can't explain what I felt when I heard of what happened. I started to love them, my new friends. I learned to be happy too when I and my boyfriend is with them.

Now, I finally figured out what I really want for Christmas. I want Ebakwait back again. c:

♥

2007-12-12T20:46:00.000+08:00

In love, when break up comes and it's time to say goodbye, don't doubt the love just because it didn't last. May mga bagay sa buhay na di man nagtatagal, it doesn't mean na di totoo. Some good things are just never meant to last forever. Ok lang yun. Bless the parting and move on. Expect the tears, sorrows, sleepless nights and pain. Ika nga, it's when you hurt the worst, that you love the most. Kung di ka willing masaktan, wag ka na lang mag mahal.

Kakatanggap ko pa lang ng message nito galing sa isang kaibigan. Medyo natamaan. Haha. At this point, I have realized what the message said. Finally, gumana na ulit ang utak ko. :) And yea, it's almost christmas. Kinakabahan ako ng sobra sa salvation wish ko. Sana lang makuha ko na talaga yun! Sana. Sana. Sana.

It's the THIRTEENTH tomorrow! Yet, we don't have class so there's no chance na magkikita pa kami bukas. Hindi sya makakalabas ng bahay (at ako rin) dahil transport strike. Sabi nga ng kapatid ni Rannah, "Bakit may strike? Hindi naga-andar ang mga jeep?" Bata nga naman. Nakakatuwa. Sana din, ako matuwa sa pasko. Whee! Merry Christmas everyone!

iDesign. c:

2007-12-10T21:13:00.000+08:00

Yes. It's my new past time. I was bored one time and I've got nothing to do so I tried making lots of layouts and I thought, why not share these to others? Since almost everyone has a Friendster account, you can use some of my layouts. Get them here:

http://stylishlayouts.multiply.com

I also accept requests for layouts. c:
Thank you!

I need salvation.

2007-11-26T18:12:00.000+08:00

Napadaan ako sa blog ni Yana. Napaisip akong pwede na man akong mag-tagalog sa posts ko. Haha. Masyado lang talaga siguro akong proud sa aking pag-iingles kaya lahat ng posts ko ay Ingles. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko!

I need salvation. Ika nga ni Felip. Naisip ko, ako rin, kelangan ko yun. Dahil? Dahil naaawa na ako sa sarili ko. Mukha na akong baliw. Kahit ano na lang ang naiisip ko at bigla ko itong gagawin o sasabihin. Ano na nga ba ang nangyayari sakin? Psychologically Sick?! Haha. Pwede! Sabi ng isang staff sa school (nakalimutan ko ang pangalan, pasensya na), magiging Psychologically Sick ka raw kapag di ka kakain ng maayos. Aah! Kaya naman pala mukha na akong baliw eh. Haha. I skip meals. Hindi tama yun pero naiinsecure ako sa sarili ko dahil lumalaki na ako. Kinakanchaw na ako ng mga kaibigan ko.

Getting of report cards nga pala nung nakaraang Biyernes. Ayun, 3 na ang pula ko. Ewan ko ba ano nang nangyayari sa akin. Tinatamad na akong mag-aral pero pagsisikapan ko na ngayong susunod na markahan. Gusto kong grumaduate pero ayoko'ng mag college. Ang gulo ko noh? Kelangan ko ng inspiration para makapasa ngayon. Sabi nga nila, crucial stage na raw to para sa aming mga graduating students. Eh, sana naman makakayanan ko to. Mag-aaral na ako ng maayos. I promise to myself!

Malapit na ang pasko, sana naman makuha ko na ang inaasam-asam kong salvation.

FOREVER I'LL MISS

2007-11-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

I'm graduating soon. 4 months -- that is what's left for me to enjoy my senior year in high school. I really don't want to be in college yet. I'm really not ready to face a new world.

I just got home from the Studio. I felt like I don't want to leave high school when I wore the toga. There were a couple of my schoolmates who were there for the picture taking, they seem excited to be in college. I really don't know what would I be when I get to college.

And oh, he was so cold on me today. Maybe he was just so down because of his grades. The report cards are out today. I failed 3 subjects. I want to graduate (but I don't want to be in college). I'm making up my grades. I feel that I'm the most brainless person in this planet. I need to cope up and I need help!

As days turn into weeks and months, I can't stop thinking of Graduation Day. I know it would be a memorable one but I know it would also be one of my most woeful days. I can imagine my friends, my classmates, my teachers and schoolmates all happy. But for me? Well, I'm out of place. I'm surely going to miss all the troubles I made in high school. Haha! High school. This is the time when I can do whatever I want to do. College? Well, I got to be serious!

Soundtrack of My Life.

2007-11-13T23:34:00.000+08:00

I love you more than you'll ever know
I love you more than you'll ever see
More than my heart could ever show
I love you more than you'll ever know

Take my hand, we'll walk a while, we'll talk a while. The first track of my life. I wonder why I feel uneasy listening to this song? Uneasy in a nice way. Is it just kilig or I want to cry because I'm super happy? I still don't know how much but I know he loves me a lot. Ha! I feel his love always here beside me.

You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You're all I need to be with forevermore

I just can't believe you are mine now. He was really just a dream. I never thought he would love me too. We have been friends then but I didn't know that we'll be together in the end. I never thought that he had this feeling for me too! He's really a surprise.

Baby, you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I'd give my love to have it hold
and as far as I can see
You were always meant to be
my destiny

But forever is just a word. He never tells me that he will love me forever. He said, forever is a lie. He's my destiny! From the moment i knew everything about what he thinks of me, deep inside my heart I knew he really was my destiny.

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need
My love, my valentine

Coz all I need is YOU, my valentine. My all-time favorite song. I really need him. Really really. I can't imagine life without him anymore. I really got used to him easily. He's the one I need to complete me, to complete my life and I thank him for stepping in and showing me what really love is.

Even if the sun refused to shine
Even if we lived in different times
Even if the ocean left the sea
There would still be you and me

Even if the world would disappear
Even if the cloud would shed no tears
Even if tonight was just a dream
There would still be you and me

Oh boy, and here you are with me for all of time. Two hearts that belong together from the very start. One love, now and forever. Nothing can tear us apart. Nothing's gonna stop us.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Whenever I hear this song, I remember a family friend that they have been together for almost 10 years before they decided to get married. I want us to last that long too. I know nothing else matters except love and trust; and we have it.

You got to believe in magic
Tell me how two people find each other
In a world that's full of strangers
You got to believe in magic
Something stronger than the moon above
Cos it's magic when two people fall in love

We were born to share this dream. For me, this isn't a dream. I don't want it to be a dream, cos in a dream, there'll be a time that you have to wake up and everything would be gone. I love it this way and it will always remain as what it is. Cos it's magic when I fell in love with him.

I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you

I can't remember of a time that I haven't thought of him. Every hour, every minute, every second -- he's always in my mind. Some say it's too much but they don't know the feeling of falling for someone who you thought was just a dream, something you can't reach. I'll never leave him. Ever!

And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now

Nothing could really break us apart. Let them say we're crazy, what do they know? Let them say we're crazy, don't care about that. He always tell me that nothing could ever let him fall out of love and I wish that nothing would really make him fall out of love.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

This is his favorite song. He let me listen to this and he sang with it! It's so sweet. He really is the sweetest person I have met and I'm lucky he's mine! He's always there for me. He never left me, maybe at times when he gets mad. Ha!

Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time ago
And I never though I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
Now I'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

He said he was having second thoughts on putting this on his monthsary gift ( i'll tell you later ). Cos he doesn't like this much but this is my favorite song. He really loves me so much. I love the song because I just love it. It means nothing to us really.

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

We watch Music and Lyrics together! That day was really a nice one. I salute. Ha! I miss watching movies with him. The cuddles when the sweetest scenes are shown. Aah! I can't wait anymore for another movie marathon with him!

Since I found you my world seems so brand new
You've showed me the love I never knew
Your presence is what my whole life through
Since I found you my life begin so new
Now who needs a dream when there is you
For all my dreams come true
Since I found you

He had sent me a message with these words. I didn't know it was a song. Ha! I just found out now. I thought he really made those words for me. Ha! But still, I appreciate it much. I like the song. Shows how much he really loves me.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

Ohmy. I don't like the message of the song. What's he telling me? I feel guilty everytime we fight but I say sorry always. I never forget that. I don't know what he really wants; being showy of what I feel for him or just through words? Action speaks louder than words -- more than words.

-------------

It's been a year and 9 months. This was the happiest yet. He's the sweetest! He compiled a CD for me but admitted he had forgotten that it's our monthsary. I so love him much much. I'm so thankful that he came to my life -- he's a special surprise. I'm getting too senti now but I really appreciate everything he has done for me, good or bad, everything! I couldn't ask for more. As we last each day, there's one thing that changes with him. He's sweeter. I don't know what's up but I just didn't get used to his being super sweet attitude. I love him and nothing can change that.

BEACH = i missed.

2007-11-11T10:04:00.000+08:00

I surfed the net and found these stock photos from Createblog. I want to travel around the most popular beaches in the world. First, Boracay. Honestly, I haven't been there. Wishing of a chance to go but namamalimos na lang kami. Haha. Kidding! My second stop would be the most romantic beach in the world -- St. Thomas in the Caribbean. I'd love to spend time there with someone whom I love the most. ( Waa. Drama ba? Haha. ) My next favorite is the South Beach in Miami, Florida. South Beach is one of the most luxurious beaches in the world, well too bad I can't afford such resort. Haha. But Kjj said he's gonna buy me a beach some day! Haha. Thanks. Ilysm. :)

The Simpsons.

2007-11-01T11:22:00.000+08:00

Lisa Simpson to Bart Simpson:

" .. it's human nature, you only like her now because someone already has her. "

=> in other words, APPRECIATE the person close to you while s/he's still yours..

cause you'll never know how much s/he's worth until s/he's out of your life. :)

BEACH = i missed.

2007-10-30T17:49:00.000+08:00

it's been 5 months since i have been to the beach. i missed the beach a lot. i was so excited the night before, i could hardly sleep. hahaha. talk about atat! i woke up 5:3o in the morning but failed to arrive early at the beach. we were the third group to arrive (of 5 small groups); i was with sacay, elbert and ktee. :) i got sunburn - and i love it. though it hurts a lot. hahaha. :)) so red cheeks. i get to ride a paddle board again after almost a year. hahaha. :)) and im hoping of riding a kayak! i ate a lot - that's why i look fat in my photos. i brought salad. we shared.

here are some us:

here are my photos with jan:

here are my photos:

see my burns? hahaha. :)) i love my tanline! must have to go back to the beach. i demand a repeat! hahaha. :))

AMAZING THINGS YOU CAN KEEP IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR [ besides food ]

2007-10-27T13:33:00.000+08:00

your refrigerator is an ideal storage for a whole array of non-food items too!

camera film, will often stay fresh beyond its expiration date if it's kept in the refrigerator.

candles won't wilt and lose their shape in hot weather if they're refrigerated -- and if they're stored for 24 hours or more in the fridge, they won't drip when burned.

clothing that's been soiled with chewing gum can be saved if it's placed in the freezer compartment. this will turn the gum brittle and make it easy to remove with a knife.

if you sprinkle clothes for ironing but don't have time to finish pressing them, you can prevent the clothes from becoming mildewed by keeping them in a plastic bag inside the refrigerator.

hair coloring products lose some of their effectiveness in hot weather and temperature, but you can prolong their life by refrigerating them.

lipsticks will hold its shape longer if refrigerated - and lipsticks that's melted can be reshaped after it's chilled.

tulip bulbs will remain dormant until planting time if they're kept in the fridge. it's best to chill them for 60 days at 40 degrees before planting.

both flower and vegetable seeds will stay fresh longer if they're stored inside a jar in the refrigerator.

cigarettes stay fresher and flashlight batteries keep longer when they're refrigerated.

refrigerator storage will also help perfume and cologne retain their fragrance longer, firm up soft soap and prevent shoe polish from dying out and hardening.

amazing huh? :)

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES.

2007-10-23T18:14:00.000+08:00

a year and 8 months is a long time. it's over now. i won't ask for anything anymore. my heart is tired and so hurt. i don't want to love again. i don't want to get hurt. this is enough! i've had enough. I'M A BIG GIRL NOW and BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY!

SEMESTRAL BREAK.

2007-10-22T18:35:00.000+08:00

exciteeeed! hahaha. :)) im going to the beach again. update soon! MUCH LOVE.

BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

2007-10-15T22:17:00.000+08:00

i aint easy to find, i am one of a kind..

new aura of my pretty, beautiful, nice and neat blog! hahaha. :)) girlier colors this time. i just tweaked a little and voila! it looks like a rainbow. whoa! hahaha. :)) i haven't been writing here since (insert last post's date). hahaha! tama na ui. corny na jud ba! hahaha. :)) i hread from a magazine that says a line a day wont hurt -- so, im trying to post even a single hello blog in here .. everyday! this is all for now. MORE LATE UPDATES ABOUT MY LIFE SOON!

suicidal -- BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

2007-08-30T18:21:00.000+08:00

im way too cool for ya boy. that's why it'll never work. i'll have you suicidal, suicidal when i say it's over. damn all these beautiful girls. they all wanna do your dirt. i'll have you suicidal, suicidal; when i say it's over.

new LSS. hahaha. =] gabo, christine lu & christa's new song for me. hahaha.

SCANDALOUS =]

2007-08-26T10:51:00.001+08:00

sooo scandalous! hahahaha. god! raymark, you're a threat! hahahaha. =]] tsktsktsk. lingaw ang reco sa chryso. wa gyud ingani nga kabuang sa amo! hahaha.

FALLING AWAY

2007-08-25T09:27:00.000+08:00

wasn't it enough to let you feel the sun? am i not worth every fall? we've gone too deep to just let this fly. so please hold on and let me save us, please hold on and let me save us.

ooh.

i wish.

2007-08-14T15:54:00.000+08:00

i wish i could tell him what i feel. i wish i could tell him that im getting hurt more and more everyday. those words that came out from his mouth had never been out of my head. even if i try to forget it, it would still come back. i dont wanna cry for the rest of my life. i dont wanna suffer for more pain. but i guess, i might get hurt more if i leave him. i dont know what's he really up to. im scared to ask. im scared to know his answer. im scared. i thought i would be happy with him -- i was wrong. so wrong. i dont wanna expect anything more. i might just get hurt even more. i want to follow my friends -- their advices. but im afraid he'd still insult me -- like what he's been doing. i dont know what to do. i tired. i wanna get wasted. i wanna die. oh god!

:))

2007-08-13T12:38:00.000+08:00

pt weak. haha. :))

im happy -- todaaaay! lalala. :))
for some reasons, im quite happy. haay. life nga naman! tsktsktsk.

CARNELIAN RECO THIS FRIDAY -- AUGUST 17, 2007.

* after RECO -- im going to KAMIKAZEE's concert. yea!!

LETTERS TO ME PLEASE! THANKS! :)) mwah!

stayin alive :))

2007-08-12T11:46:00.000+08:00

' its a long cold road when you wake up and i dont have the strength to let you go. couldn't you believe that everything i said and did wasn't just deceiving? it makes me wish that i was never brought into this place. im here to say the things that matters - about the things that made us feel alive for so long, about the things that kept you at my sight when i was wrong. im crying alone tonight and i was wasting all of my life just thinking of you. so just come back we'll make it better. just come back i'll make it better. just come back i'll make it better than it ever was. '

is this a song? i received this as a text message and i was touched. :) to the person who sent this - you know who you are - i admire you. you loved her with all of you and you never gave up. that's what matters most, right? :) i hope that girl might read this post. i hope she would realize how lucky she was with the guy. i just wish both of you so much happiness. :)

it's been quite a long time since i have posted here. im still staying alive and going strong. unsa daw?! haha. :)) i have had heavy regrets these days. words come out at the wrong time. i just hope im right. what is this im saying?! hahaha. anyways, wish me luck through life. :)

CARNELIAN RECOLLECTION ON FRIDAY - August 17, 2007.

LETTERS TO ME PLEASE! thanks. :) mwah!

im a senior?!

2007-06-11T08:51:00.000+08:00

hell yes! i can't believe it. haha. whatever.
it starts to get boring. as everyday passes i wish summer hasn't ended yet. i miss bangkok. waa. haha. :)) gusto ko pa bumalik dun. i wanna study there. mahal nga lang. oh yea, im elected as FilClub asst treas. i hope i can do my job well -- hala drama! : it's so boring school specially that this week, we're having formal classes na. GRR. nilipat pa ako ni maam juvy sa pinaka-front. imagine?! nevermind. she even gave me a new nickname -- actually, all of us. eek! its horrible. haha. but i believe i would have much fun and more lingaw in my last year as a high school. yuck, college nako sunod. ta*. haha.

it's over

2007-05-27T14:13:00.000+08:00

summer's coming to an end. school's back again. i still dont wanna go to school. i still wanna stay at home -- like what everyone wants! school sucks! whoops! haha. basta, ayoko pa mag school. hindi ko nasulit ang summer vacation. grr. haay. i wish, i could turn back time.

i hate being away

2007-05-11T10:56:00.000+08:00

worst. i hate being away from davao but i dont wanna go back either. someone hurt me again. i cant tell who -- go figure it out. GRR!!

ill be missing you

2007-05-04T18:20:00.000+08:00

im so gonna be missing my baby. ill be leaving for manila tomorrow night. :( its still gonna be two weeks until we're gonna see each other again. gawd! im half excited & half sad. know why? because i was expecting him to come with me to bangkok. grr! i even thought of backing out. i dont wanna go without him. why am i so crazy about him?! well, i dont know! it is just what i feel. its not my fault, right? i dont know! im so sorry for being such a baby. i just act like this when im missing someone. :( have to go. still gonna finish packing up my stuff. i just had a break to let my feelings go. mwah! wish me a happy trip and you'll get pasalubong. haha. give some love, leave me comments if you want pasalubong -- go on, wish me a happy trip!

first time "koreana"

2007-05-02T12:35:00.000+08:00

waking up so early with no messages from someone i was expecting to make me go crazy. seriously, i got pissed. i sat on my bed and saw a 12-in-1 dvd. windstruck. windstruck? it wasn`t the only movie that was there. 12 movies. i haven`t watched any korean movies ever. switched on the dvd player and watched.

first movie: 100 days with mr. arrogant
i love the movie. sweet! the film was about a high school senior who accidentally dents a young man`s car. thought the damage was minor, he tricks her into believing that it will be expensive to fix and has her sign a contract making her his slave for 100 days.

kim jae won - played lee hyeong-jun, born on June 18, 1981. kim made his debut in an MBC drama, and his friendly-child good looks made him popular. he is nicknamed killer smile or angel smile for his famous smile.

ha ji won - played kang ha-yeong, first came to theater in 2000 and won an award for best new actress. her big break was sex is zero and true or dare. in 2003, she was cast as chae-oak in the famous korean tv drama damo and was stated as south korean`s most promising actress.

second movie: a millionaire's first love

jae-kyung had turned 18 and he is eligible to inherit his late grandfather`s vast amount of fortunes. he went out with his friends and became arrogant in his ways. but, there was a catch in the will his grandfather has left behind. he has to graduate from a small high school in the countryside because if that did not happened, he cannot totally inherit the entire fortune. naturally, it drove jae-kyung mad.

when he arrived at the place, he then realised how rural it was. there, he met the girl whom he actually once met many years ago when they were younger. she`s hi fellow classmate at his new school -- eun-hwan. he soon found out she has an illness which could not be cured. it was during those times jae-kyung realizes how much he likes her.

bin hyeon - played kang jae-kyung. born as tae pyung kim. his name literally means bright light. went to joong ang university. loves swimming, basketball and watching plays.

lee yeon-hee - played choi eun-hwan. the girl with a uncurable heart disease. born in january 9, 1988.

i totally had fun watching those i-thought-they-were-corny korean movies. haha. :)) but now, i love `em!

2007-05-01T11:32:00.000+08:00

why do some people think only about themselves? is that considered as selfishness? why don`t they think of other people`s shame? questions keep running inside my head everytime i get scolded. am i being punished because of my parents` mistakes? why me? why not them? tears flood my eyes as i get my rest at night. i don`t understand why these things are thrown up to me. just a while ago, i have been asked to get something with no clear instructions then i was still the one who`s wrong. it`s totally unfair! life really has surprises. surprises -- that hurt me most. i still keep these questions on my head. i can`t find the answers to these questions. i haven`t found those answers -- and i might not find them. i can`t open up to anybody, that`s why i`m telling everything. i`m blurting out all the pain inside me. there are times i think of getting violent. i wanna hurt myself. there was a time that i told myself "maybe if i wasn`t here, they might be happy." but someone tells me to fight and forget all those times i have been hurt -- but i can`t! i just can`t -- and i don`t know why. he keeps on telling me to think positive and be confident & thankful that i had a chance to live. i`ve reflected on those words. maybe, he just loves me that much that he doesn`t want me to go. i do love him too sooo much! i wish he knew how much. i`ve been problematic since i got a little matured. i think a lot of things that might hurt me, physically. but he was the reason why i can`t do those things. he stops me from doing those and convinces me that i have a purpose here on earth, that`s why i`m here. i wish and i pray that someday, i may feel complete. i may feel loved and i may feel that i`m important.

a sweet start

2007-04-27T19:08:00.000+08:00

i`ve come to think of making another blog. a taste of my delicious life. thinking of those past blogs i`ve had, i`ve never been too expressive of what i want, like, love && adore. keeping everything under one blog seems to be cool. :) i guess, i`m gonna keep this blog up! happy blogging. :)